ochiba1110

My last journal was 8 years ago, that’s insane. I’m sure no one will be reading this and that none of my old friends are on here anymore… I kind of miss it. I miss talking to online friends, I miss sharing art together…. I miss it. It was a very special time in my life and it ended. I guess I’m writing this for future me who will most likely snoop through this user again in a few years. So, hi. I’m 26 now (soon to be 27) and I’m a tattoo artist now. I’ve seen journals from 10 years ago where I talk about how it’s my dream… it’s not as glamorous as I thought it would be so I’m sorry past me. It’s not what we thought… I still enjoy it but it’s not everything I dreamed of. Of course I still have depression… so that’s fun lol. Since my last journal so much has happened! It’s funny I wrote about adopting my dog as a puppy, her name is Jesse and she is 8 now. Thankfully she’s still in my life and I’m very grateful for her. I lost one of my best friends… he didn’t die, just cut me off. It was hard. My grandma passed away 3.5 years ago but I still cry when I think about her, it was very difficult and it still is. I have so many regrets sadly. I have a bf for the last 3 years, we are living together and I think for the most part happy. since my last post I have been in 2 abusive relationships and it was hard. No reason to go into details and my bf definitely makes up for all the shit that happened to me. We adopted 2 sweet cats and their names are Hermes and Hades and they’re basically our children! I’ve gained quite a bit of weight tied to my depression but I signed up to a gym and got back to working out and I’m happy about it! I’m super proud of my art now and I improved so much, I’m so glad I never stopped drawing. For a lot of time it was the only thing I had. I’m a bit sad for past me because I’m still not the person who I thought I would be, I’m trying but I’m not there and I’m not sure if I ever will, I still don’t have the strength to take care of my mental health as I should. So future me please try harder, do better. I believe we can do this. Next month I’m flying to Berlin to see Rammstein live! It’s been my dream since I was 15 at least! It’s crazy and I’m so excited! I’m going with my best friend and we’ve been best friends for 13 years now and we’re closer than ever! I’m going with her and her bf who is also a really good friend of mine and I introduced them. This journal is for me and maybe someone else from my past will see it, maybe. I’m doing better. It’s been hard but it’s better. Please future me don’t let me down. Don’t do stupid shit. Don’t kill yourself. Our progress is slow but it’s there and it’s okay. See you in a few years.